Psalm 109: Betrayal

You would see them playing on the shore together as kids, and you couldn’t tell. But Peter was always the underbelly of the crowd his age. His gullibility was a byword, and he laughed at all the jokes directed at him. It was like his enthusiasm and friendliness were a standing invitation for derision.

And kids are cruel. They didn’t talk to Peter, but through him. Worse than the way they talked about him as though he wasn’t there was the way they didn’t countenance him at all. His warmth and camaraderie were met with mute scoffs. They would shake their heads and laugh, as though he were a joke that didn’t need a punch line.

But you he always worshiped. He could never take his own betrayal seriously, but when they turned on you too—he put off scorn like a winter coat. He became like a conscience to the thoughtless, closer to them than the words of their own prayers.

O God, do not remain silent.
Lying tongues have surrounded me.
They repay my friendship with hate.
Friends have broken my broken heart.

With time, my best friend has taken
Hatred to himself like a coat,
And it has seeped into his heart
Like water. He has become dark.

Surround him with his own hatred,
As close to him as his own prayer.